Limbo

lim⋅bo /ˈlɪmboʊ/ [lim-boh]

–noun, plural -bos.

1. (often initial capital letter) Roman Catholic Theology. a region on the border of hell or heaven, serving as the abode after death of unbaptized infants (limbo of infants) and of the righteous who died before the coming of Christ (limbo of the fathers or limbo of the patriarchs).

2. a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date: My youthful hopes are in the limbo of lost dreams.

3. an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place

4. a place or state of imprisonment or confinement

Let’s concentrate on definition number three. Yup. That’s where I am right now. The saying “this too shall pass” has been my mantra for the past couple of days and honestly it’s already killing me. This is applicable on a lot of areas in my life right now.

It frustrates me like anything and there are times I just chose to be apathetic – the thing is….that’s not me. I’d always been the type to be both reactive and proactive on different situations. Now I just find myself just shaking my head and walking away.

I’d want to believe that this is just a phase. I’ve been stuck in limbo for quite some time now. It sucks big time when you can’t even decide what you want to do or where you want to go. Please let it be a phase, I’d just want this feeling to go away.

The World is Full of Magic

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.
- One Tree Hill, Season 5, Episode 13

I am obviously addicted to the show already.

The Giver

I didn’t know if I was going to put this under ‘blogs’ or ‘reviews’. Just wanted to ramble my thoughts so here it goes...The book “The Giver” ,hit me straight to the heart. It’s a good thing that a few high school students (?) are obliged to read this, since it opens up to a lot of philosophical ideas. And this is one of the statements that struck me (Chapter 13): “We really have to protect people from wrong choices”.

When I was reading this book the first thing that popped into my head was the movie “Pleasantville”. It was all black and white – everything was …well in their terms “perfect”. Everyone had a designated role; responsibilities and expectations were set and everyone had to live up to them; no one can ever feel hungry and everyone was part of a family.

Imagine a world without color. So how do you see the magnificence of a rainbow? How can you actually achieve that feeling of APPRECIATION?

Imagine a world where the word love is forbidden to be used. So what keeps you going each day?

Imagine a world where personal freedom is not practiced, simply because society wants to protect people from making the wrong choices. The community doesn’t want people to experience hurt, pain and suffering. Ideal, huh? Hrrrm...

What I love about this book is how it highlights the concept of freewill. Yup, one of the greatest blessings given to us by the Man up Above. It may result torment. It may cause us that feeling of regret. But I strongly believe that so much beauty can come out of it. Like…

You get to appreciate yourself more and the world around you.

You get to express to someone how much you love them a thousand times over and never get tired of it.

You get to learn your lesson and have the strength to share it with other people (and inspire them!)

You get to save people from their sins just as what the Big Man Above did when He was crucified.

No matter how hard we try to protect each other from different choices and putting ourselves in a cookie cutter world (or stereotyping, eh?) – At the end of the day – the colors will still be vibrant, emotions will still overflow and love will forever remain unconditional.

No one has the right to complain in the world he or she is in now – because the truth is; it’s so wonderful! Savor it. No one can blame anyone but themselves on the choices they make because no matter how long the agony is, no matter how painful – (let me stress it out once again) something good or maybe I should say something GREAT, will always come out of it.

Kudos to Lois Lowry for writing this book, at least I know the next generation will get to appreciate the splendor that life has to offer them.

i miss....

I miss….

Nick Carter & Aj Mclean from the Backstreet Boys

(so one beats up his gf and the other had to go to Rehab)

Stephen Gately from Boyzone

(he finally came out)

Phil Rodell (?) from Code Red

(where is he now?)

Duncan James from Blue

(i think he's the hottest)

Jeff Timmons from 98 degrees

(he already has a baby, right?)

JC Chasez from Nsync

(I blame Tara Reid for your solo career)

Taylor Hanson from the Hansons

(still hot, has like two kids already right?)

Dave Moffatt from the Moffats

(so I heard he’s also gay?!?!)

Scott from 5ive

(err haven't heard anything from him)

Kavana from.... errr yeah

(wasn't there a rumor that he was gay too?)

Bryan Abrams from Color Me Badd

(yes I was 7 during that time and was singing "I wanna sex you up" I didn't even know what it meant!)

I miss Keanu Reeves in the music video "Rush"

(an labo!!!)

This is the reason why I had a very exciting childhood, eh? :P Subscribing to Smash Hits and Bop instead of buying cigarettes and coffee.

Leo, this blog was for you. hahaha!

We all have our own story to tell

After having dinner with my girls last night, I realized that we all have our own story to tell. We all have our weird anecdotes that can make us laugh so hard or lead us all into tears.

• Being betrayed by the people (or that certain person) who we thought loved us the most
• Overcoming your fear and taking risks
• Falling into the trap of unrequited love
• Fighting for something or someone who’s just not worth it
• Being deceived by our dream job
• Having no support from our own family
• Falling in love with the wrong (kind of) person
• Losing your virginity to someone who totally doesn’t deserve it
• Getting reprimanded at home or work for something you didn’t even do in the first place and taking all the shit
• Questioning your sexual preference
• Seeing your photo in the newspaper or watching yourself on tv
• Getting proposed in the most romantic way
• Planning your future ahead of time (wayyyy ahead of time)
• Expecting a baby at such a young age
• Meeting someone who we’ve idolized for the longest time
• Drinking a bottle of Baygon simply because you wanted to
• Feeling lonely when you’re surrounded by a gazillion friends
• A job offer that never even crossed your mind
• Losing a friend and rebuilding the relationship after several years and as if nothing happened
• ten million more situations

At the end of the day, it’s what makes us the person we are today. These stories mold us to be a better person. They make our lives more interesting and colorful. Cliché, right? One of these days, I’d write all these stories and compile it into one book. I’m gonna bring Chicken Soup for the soul to a different level.

The rays of happiness, like those of light, are colorless when unbroken.
Henry W. Longfellow

Quote for the Day

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware - beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
-Kent Nerburn

Thanks Zaney for sharing the story and thanks for the company tonight :) Forever cherished.

There is a way to be good again

There are times when you are emotional - you tend to do the craziest things. Like you’re just extremely happy or in the most terrible pain – you don’t realize that you’ve already neglected your duties, stepped on several people who matter the most or gone against your principles.

You do a toast for your own satisfaction but once your glass touches another – because of the force or your clumsiness – the expensive wine glass breaks.

I can laugh it off and act as if nothing happened OR I can acknowledge the damage, pick the piece up together and clean up the spilled drink.

No matter how embarrassing, painful or difficult your situation is – there is way to be good again. One of the best lines I read from the book, “The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini .

As much as possible – we all want to bury the past but sometimes it has a way to claw itself out but in the end – there will always be redemption.

Funny on my way home, the song “Things will Go my Way” by The Calling played in iPod randomly:

For all the lives
I've tasted
Just looking for the truth
For all the dreams I'm chasing
What am I to do
With everything against me
The answers are all wrong
Open now, I'll find out
It was working all along

The past couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster ride. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, I know I’ve misjudged and disappointed a lot of people – I am not perfect but there is always a WAY to be good again – simply because I BELIEVE. I still have my faith to hold on to. It will happen – I’ll be able to clean up my mess and I know it’s not going to be easy to get there but I’ll eventually be the best person I can be. I just have to keep the fire burning. Have that desire to change, have the heart to forgive and the understanding to accept things the way they are.